Everyone is hogging the laptop and it's kind of really annoying.

The antagonist was his father

The therapist's name was Harold McCoy. My parents had contacted my school and asked if they could provide a counselor or therapist to talk to me, or something. I wasn't being open with them, so they figured maybe I'd be more open with a stranger.

McCoy wasn't exactly a stranger to me, though. Miles' brother was bipolar and had various emotional issues (that I admittedly didn't know too much about) and McCoy had worked with him before. I heard he was a nice man and really good at his job. Once he and I started talking, I had to agree. The only problem was, what was I supposed to tell him?

The nightmares and visions of spiders weren't letting up. I began to entertain the idea that maybe I was really messed in the head, but I wasn't ready to admit it. I told McCoy all about Danny (sorry Dan, this was the only time!), and I must admit that it helped talking to someone about it. Even if it was unrelated to the strangeness going on, it was still something that hurt me.

Depressing, depressing, depressing. I really don't want this to be filled with so much depression and angst, but I suppose there's nothing I can do to avoid that. I think I'll make this as short as I can.

*Deep breath*

Now, this may seem a bit sudden, but it... okay, well. Dad died of a heart attack on... April 23rd, I believe. It was very strange... he should have been at work that day. Mom got home before I got home from school, so she was the one who found him. It was soon discovered he had suffered from a serious heart attack and died rather quickly. Not much suffering, so I was told. I knew my father wasn't the healthiest, but... well.

McCoy was probably a godsend at the time. I couldn't bring myself to talk to my mother about, well, anything really. I cried when I was with him many times the weeks after dad died.

I never told him about stalker Spider-Man, though.

I should also mention that being around everyone here helps as well. Everyone here has lost loved ones, some way more than I. We all listen to each other and help each other. We have made ourselves a new family.

Not only do I not desire to continue now, I have wasted most of my internet use today, so I must pass the laptop off. Should have more time and energy for a bigger post tomorrow.

He was dead all along

Jeremy was feeling pretty sick yesterday and we were surprised to find our supply of Advil was all gone. All of us often get headaches, so painkillers is something we're all getting pretty used to having. We had to head into town (something we usually do not do) to resupply. The odd thing is that I'm sure we had at least two huge bottles of the stuff, but I guess I was wrong. I suppose someone might be hoarding them but I really hope not!

Also, Warren is limiting everyone's internet use. We already share the laptop, but Warren thinks we're all using it too much. He might have a point but he can be such a hard-ass sometimes!

Anyways... so! I started acting pretty weird. I was fighting with my parents often, got myself grounded, got a lot of my stuff taken away. I eventually did tell them about my anger over Danny and that I still talk to him. They didn't get as mad as I thought they would. They just seemed... frustrated about it. Perhaps they have guilt about it? I hope so.

Even after having almost everything fun taken away, I still rebelled. I kept going out with Miles or one of my friends after school when I wasn't supposed to. My sudden attitude change wasn't just for my parents, though. Nicole and Meagan eventually didn't want me around anymore because I would constantly snap at them for the stupidest things... I fought with Miles a lot too, more than ever before. I realize now that for most of it, I was being a total dick, but my mind just wasn't registering things right at the time. I'd say that around the beginning of April, Miles broke up with me, and I really had no friends left to hang out with. I stopped rebelling.

It was soon after that I started getting the hallucinations. Now wait, hallucinations?! Yes, but they were small at first. Sometimes, I would see the stalker with his Spider-Man hood in the corner of my eye. I would turn to him, and there would be nothing there. This would happen even if I was in my room, which was always quite a fright.

Spiders started appearing all over the place. At home, at school, everywhere. I would take a book off my bookshelf and there was a spider. I would open up a textbook and there was a spider. I would open up the refrigerator door and there was a big-ass spider. I would go into the bathroom and there would be a stupid Daddy Long Legs spider! That last one turned out to be real, though. I don't even think it's actually really a spider...

The thing is, even to this day, I can't tell if half the spiders I see are real or not. So yeah, I started getting a bit frightened of them.

Even my dreams were messed up. I would always relive that day where the stalker stood over me, but it would end up differently. He would take off his hood, revealing himself to either be Miles, or Danny, or someone else I knew. They would have this huge grin on their face and would just stare at me. Instead of eventually going away, I would instead find myself falling backwards, endlessly and endlessly...

It got worse.

The first instance of the really bad stuff was when I awoke from one of these dreams in a panicked sweat. There was no way I was going to fall back asleep anytime soon, so I went into the hall to make my way toward the bathroom. I tip-toed across the wooden floor (it was really cold at the time) and accidentally smacked my toe into the bathroom door. That stuff hurts, you know? So while I'm sitting there nursing my throbbing toe, I heard a scratching sound coming from downstairs. We didn't own any pets, so... I had no idea what it could have been. The idea of there being a mouse running around (or a spider) passed through my mind, but my curiosity demanded I check.

As soon as I made it down the stairs, I wish I hadn't have bothered. In the kitchen, covering the walls, the counters, the appliances... were spiders. Hundreds and hundreds (probably thousands) of spiders. I was so shocked, so utterly shocked at seeing this amount of spiders in my kitchen, that I just stood and stared dumbly at them all. Until they started moving toward me, that was. My screams was probably heard by everyone on the street. They started crowding around my feet as I stomped, kicked, and screamed at them.

I'm not sure how long it lasted, but they all went away once my parents appeared. Just a "Jemma?", and they were gone in an instant. My dad then grabbed me, started asking what was wrong. I had no idea what I could say to either of them. I simply began to cry.

When I calmed down, I eventually told them about the hallucination, for I had no other excuse to give. All the anger and fighting of the past few weeks seemed to drain away as we talked. They tried to get me to open up, to tell them what was wrong. The only problem was that I had no idea why this was happening! I couldn't just say I thought some guy in a Spider-Man sweater was turning me crazy. They tried to search for issues that just weren't there. Are you having issues at school? Is someone hurting you? Did something happen with your boyfriend? I had nothing to really say.

So, they looked into getting a therapist. Honestly, I thought it was probably for the best.

I think I should mention that since being where I am now, I haven't had anything like that happen. Sure, I see a spider sometimes that doesn't turn out to be there, but thankfully that is the extent of my current madness.

I need to check on Jeremy.

Insanity

Okay, so.

Teleporting stalkers and anger, right.

So you'd think something that defied my concept of reality would have had me telling every single person I could about it. Or maybe not, they'd probably think I was crazy, no??

Buuut, the thing is, I don't think I would blame them. It's possible I was very much crazy and it's possible I still am. Crazy comes in many flavors~, as far as I can tell.

Anyhow! As I said, it started with the anger. Now normally, I'm terribly meek around my parents. I wasn't meek in general, no, but around my parents... definitely! Refusing a request was a no-no and talking back was an even bigger no-no.

The first event to set it off was when I was asked by my father to help him shovel snow. A part of me wanted to scream at him for simply asking, but I restrained myself to a simple "I'd rather not." When asked why not, I said I didn't care. When told I had no choice in the matter, I turned on my father, look up into his eyes, and said two words I'd never said to him in my life: "Fuck you."

At first I think he was so surprised to hear me say it, that he sort of just... looked at me for a moment. Buuut then he started yelling! How dare I speak to my father like that!!!! and such and such. I yelled back, of course. Then mom joined in. Nothing was ever the same.

I suppose it is fitting, that this is how it all started. I always had this sort of anger for my parents that I bottled away. Perhaps that is one of the weapons my stalker had in his arsenal, bringing out the anger in me. Or, maybe my subconscious was waiting for the first excuse to bring it out... I don't know, that sounds kind of confusing!

You see, I never forgave my parents for what they did to Danny. I'd been carrying that around for a good six years, by then. Well, uh...

I had been only eleven at the time. Danny, my parents, and I were all just watching tv. We did this quite often, usually while eating dinner. That day was my father's birthday though, so we had already eaten at this fancy restaurant that I can't remember the name of. I remember it was nice, and our whole family had a good time. I can bet that because the afternoon went so well, Danny probably felt it was time to drop his announcement.

I remember him grabbing the remote to pause the tv and jumping up off couch to face the three of us. He gave me a quick smile before turning to mom and dad.

"Mom, dad, I have something really important to tell you."

Danny continued, telling them how much he loved them and stuff like that. I could tell that a part of it was him stalling, and he started getting pretty emotional. I've never seen Danny cry, but he was definitely on the verge of doing so then. He was able to keep it in check and eventually get around to what he had to say.

"I'm gay."

Pretty sure my parents saw that like they saw my "Fuck you", except worse.

Now, I was eleven, I didn't really have a huge understanding of what Danny had just said. I must admit, even at eleven, a few kids my age threw around the word in a derogatory manner. The internet had provided me with a basic idea of what being gay meant, but there was no way I could truly understand, not in the way Danny needed me too.

After he said this, my parents had these strange looks on their faces. My dad in particular looked like he had started to lift something really heavy. I almost giggled at him, at the time. I can only imagine what Danny thought they were about to say.

The first thing they asked, of course, was if he was sure about this. Danny said yes. They asked why he chose to be such a thing. Danny said he had no choice in the matter. This continued, the two parties getting increasingly upset. Eventually my father roared about how it was a sin and an offense to God and the usual things you hear. No offense to Carol or any other Christians, but while I went to a Catholic school, I don't think our family had ever been to church in our life.

The shouting match continued until Danny swore at them and retreated to his room. I sat in the living room, dumbfounded. Like, I had no idea what had even happened! My dad had stormed off, and my mom started fussing over me, telling me everything was going to be okay. Everything would be fine. But I just knew, and I think she did too, that it wasn't going to be fine.

It was like living in a war zone for the next week. Dad would occasionally yell through Danny's bedroom door, "Are you done with this nonsense yet?" Mom would refuse to make dinner and would instead just order takeout. Dad refused to give Danny any of it, especially if he refused to come out of his room. I occasionally sneaked my share up to him. I wanted him to know that I still loved him, at least.

Near the end of this horrid week, Danny pulled me into his room and hugged me. He whispered into my ear, "I'm so sorry for all of this."

I shook my head, though. I whispered back, "I don't care what you are, you're still Danny." And it was true. I may not have understood yet what was happening, but that was all I really needed to say.

He pulled away, a huge smile on his face. He thanked me and told me he was going to stay with his friend Shannon for a bit. He hoped mom and dad would come to their senses by the time he came back. They didn't, of course. They stopped him at the door, or well my mom did, and told him he was not welcome anymore. After some shouting, Danny was allowed to grab his things. He told them how disappointed he was in them before leaving, but my dad just had to say, "Well, we're disappointed in you as well."

I should have said something. I didn't want this to happen. I was so angry that it was happening, but I stayed silent. I never told my parents that I disapproved of what they did. Not for six years, at least. I never found out why my parents did what they did, and all I could assume is that they had some unfortunate encounters with gay people in the past.

Danny was over only one time after that, to grab the rest of his stuff. He told me goodbye, and said he would meet me after school to hang out.

We continued that every so often for a few weeks. Danny would buy me ice cream, ask how's school going, drive me (and sometimes walk me!) almost all the way home. He never went near the house, and never asked about mom and dad.

One time, he invited me over to Shannon's. I was unsure at first, because I knew my parents would be upset about it if they found out. They had already told me to stop meeting Danny after school, but I had ignored that. I eventually agreed and they let me stay for dinner after I phoned mom to tell her I was staying at Lydia's. Shannon and her parents were really nice, and it made me feel so much better to know Danny was staying with nice people.

Unfortunately, my family soon moved after that. I don't think it was because of Danny entirely, because they had expressed desire to get out of the city before all this happened, but it was hard not to look at it that way. We moved up north into Southern Ontario, and had been there ever since. Danny and I (thankfully!) were able to still talk through the internet and stuff, but you must admit, it just was not the same.

... Okay, soooo, that was really exhausting to write. I had this post titled "Insanity", but I've gotten way off topic from what I meant to talk about. I suppose Insanity still fits, right? I've written more than enough for today and I have watching duties to get to anyway. BB!

(Also, Danny, I'm sorry if you didn't want me talking about this, but it's just something I really needed to get off my chest. I haven't even told this to any of the people I'm with now, so... Sorry.)

Warren is such a goober.

Spiders

I'm in-between chores right now, so this will be a quick little thing.

I was in the greenhouse with Carol, and I saw a really effing huge spider! I really freaked out and it was really embarrassing... especially since my friends have no real idea of what I've gone through and probably think I was being so ridiculous. They have their Slenderman, so insects and arachnids are nothing compared to that, no? I used to never be scared of spiders, but now... I can't stand to be in the same room as one! I seriously used to make fun of Miles for his fear of spiders, but oh ho ho! If he could see me react to one now! I would never be able to live that down.

It's really a shame because I think their webs are so pretty... it's the whole reason the background is now a spider-web. Buuuuut, I did see a spider in my search for a nice picture and almost gave myself a heart attack.

But! I survived. Thankfully.

Continuation of my 'adventure' will have to continue tomorrow, Warren wants full use of the laptop for the rest of the day.

When It Began

Everyone's pretty much asleep by now (Except the watchers), and I just couldn't resist hopping on the laptop (We actually just 'found' it recently... none of us have used an actual computer in a while now). I tried to get on earlier today, but I was feeling pretty exhausted from my lack of sleep, and the wifi we're stealing is pretty shoddy. Probably because we're in a very remote area and I'm actually not sure where the source is located... Anyways, it was just frustrating so I gave up! But here I am now.

So!! I figure I should tell you (I'm mainly talking to Danny here, ifwhen he sees this) about what's happened to me since that stalker started appearing last year. Some of it is... very unpleasant, BUT DANNY, I'm OK now. I want to make that very clear. Everything that happened is in the PAST. Well, mostly! But I can deal with it.

For most of December and January, that guy was appearing less and less. A part of me thought maybe my few attempts at catching him on camera scared him off, or something. But! I started to worry that maybe he had decided to simply stop wearing that Spider-Man sweater and be less recognizable. I at least knew he was probably male, a bit pudgy, and only about 5'9"?? Still, that could have fit a few of my neighbors. I went to a Catholic school, and there were a few Public schools in the area as well, so not every teenager I knew went to the same school. There were a few kids I saw who would walk to one of the other high schools in town, or would sit out and wait for their school bus. I wasn't very good friends with them, but they lived on my street, so I at least was friendly with them...

Buut, I started thinking that maybe one of them could have been the guy. I mean, coincidentally they wouldn't be out when he DID appear, so I had to wonder.

I wasn't scared enough to stop walking to school entirely, but I started asking my parents for more rides.

But, like after a few weeks, he started appearing again, but this time it was non-stop. Not infrequent like the two months past, but every single day for like... a week. So, yes, I started getting a bit freaked out again. If he ever got closer during the walks, I decided I would then alert my parents to the stalker when I got home. I wasn't afraid of him actually doing anything during my walks considering there would be people around and it was the morning, but still, it's not like having a stalker is something you can ignore! So during one of these usual walks he was, of course, following me again. A number of ideas were running through my head about what I could do. I could have mentioned it to a neighbor, or brought one of my friends on my walk, but...

Turned out this walk would be the last one of its kind. No, I didn't get carted off into a truck... it was probably worse than that.

I took another look back to check up on him, but he was inexplicably gone. This was odd as he usually followed me to a later point in my walk. I was feeling pretty happy about this... until I looked ahead.--BAM, there's the motherfucker. I probably screamed a little and almost dropped my phone. There was no way he could have gotten around me that easily, not if he was a human. However, that wasn't my first thought. My first thought was that I was about to be murdered or something and so I was scrambling to dial my parents while stumbling over myself to get further from him. 911 would have made more sense, I suppose, but I never even ended up calling anybody. I tripped over my feet, my phone went flying, and before I knew it, this stalker was standing over me.

It wasn't a big hood. It shouldn't have hid his face as well as it did. There was an outline of a FACE, definitely, bit it was like it was behind a veil... and not a physical one.

A strange thought began to creep up on me. All the fear flew from my body, and all I could do was stare at this blank black face. I have no idea how long I was staring at him, it could have been even a minute, maybe.

After who knows how long, I just blinked and he was... gone! Simple as that. Shouldn't I have been TOTALLY FREAKING OUT? Probably, but I just picked myself up, recovered my phone and continued on to school. I never mentioned the event to anybody and no one had any idea anything had happened... That was until I started getting weird, at least! It was small at first, after about a week. I would sometimes find myself just being angrier at stuff. Not swearing angry, like someone I know, just... angry!
I'd elaborate further but Warren has found that I'm still up. That's a no-no around here!


BB!